Author Archives: Everyday Life

A lot of things don’t really make me angry. But the one thing that really grinds my gears is ignorance. When people don’t have their own beliefs. Like how hard is it to be original. I can’t stand a follower as well. Oh and did I mention racism and inequality? So maybe a lot of things do make me angry, but these are all good cause related topics. I have grown a lot, I used to let a lot of things and I mean a LOT of things, get me angry. But now that I’ve grown and matured I’ve realized that a lot of things just aren’t worth my time. Life is too short to be angry, unless it’s good intent behind it. Like my examples above. What’s the real point behind anger? I feel that it’s like a sink hole. Once you get yourself in it, it’s extremely hard to get out. With anger, I feel that this specific emotion is very easy to throw out with being the initial emotion, because it easy to describe and the most common. But not everything you feel is anger. There’s disappointment, resentment, anxiety, even confusion.

My biggest regret in life, well… all 25 years of my life, is not stopping my sister from going to Arkansas. I didn’t know that the day she left, would be the last time I would ever see her again. Maybe if I cried a little harder, or begged for her to not go a little more, she would still be here today. I know I can’t blame myself, because everything is ultimately God’s plan, but I always wonder. I know it isn’t healthy, and shouldn’t be my “biggest” regret, but since I can only pick one, this is the one. I mean I have tattoos I wish I would have NEVER gotten, but that’s so cliche I feel you know? Like that’s always what I feel like people will pick. I know I tend to get very vulnerable with these blogs,so but I think that’s okay. I think that that’s good for me. I also regret not talking about the pain of losing my sister more, when it happened. I went mute… I couldn’t talk, I felt like I had nothing to talk to about. I went to therapy, did the whole 9, and still… nothing. Still no talking. I think that’s also a regret I have. The pain that I felt then, isn’t the same pain I feel now, but definitely the same type of hurt and emptiness. I 100% regret not doing all that I could to stop her, or to help myself after with the resources that were attempted to be provided to me. I do still regret some of these tattoos though, lol!

My favorite book as a child was Dr. Seuss, “Green Eggs and Ham”. I think it was my favorite book because we would have a “green eggs and ham” day at school. We would literally have green eggs with ham, lol. I wasn’t supposed to eat the ham but, I still would sneak some ;). That book was so hilarious to me with how it was like a musical in a sense. Everything would rhyme, not really make sense, but it would rhyme! I really enjoyed all of Dr. Seuss’s work. I feel that where’s I might get my style of writing of writing from a little. I like to story tell while writing. I can’t really keep focus on the topic without giving all necessary details before starting. Another one of my favorites was “No David”. That was a book my mom would either read with me, or have me read more than any other book. I think it’s because I was very similar to David. I wouldn’t listen to directions or stop playing with something that could break easily, without learning myself that it could break. Usually it would break first, but hey, I learned right? Got in trouble in the midst of it, and disciplined every time but it helped. David eventually learned as well. I enjoy both of those books because they both have a message that I was able to apply to either my growth and learning, or general well being of myself.

What I feel will be most significant about my book, is the message behind it. “No means NO!” Is a concept that surprisingly, is still not understood by many. If a child or adult, is telling you no, then that means no. I myself fell victim to the concept. I think my book will be very significant in that aspect. If I’m able to write and relay my message in a receptive manner, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be in viewed as significant. To me, “no means no” is already a very real, and significant topic. I want my book to be more than just for children. I also want it to be for those adults who also fell victim to the concept and want to find a way to in a sense, heal. Maybe heal the inner child that may have been affected as well. The significance of the message itself speaks volumes. Boundaries. If I had read a book as a child, that explained how important it is to respect boundaries and have yours respected, I honestly feel that a lot of things in my life would have gone differently. Boundaries are a very important part of life, and it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to not want to do something, or go somewhere, or talk to a person. This includes any and everybody. Even family! If you feel that a family member isn’t respecting your boundaries, it’s okay to express that and take any necessary actions in assuring that your boundaries are respected. This is the significance of the message that I want to convey.

Something that I don’t think I’d ever be able to understand is the point of racism. Like I don’t get why people choose to hate a specific group of people just because the color of their skin. What I really don’t get, is why it’s still such a big issue in the world. I mean it’s 2024 for goodness sake, why are black people still being treated less than? If God created us to all be in his image, why can’t we all treat each other with love. I personally have lost family members due to racism, and have been harassed myself and it’s something that will haunt me forever. It’s something that I want all of the world to move past, but that’s just wishful thinking. I know that there’s people who will never be able to love all men and women no matter the color of their skin, or background. If we all treated our neighbors the way that we want to be treated, I believe that there would be more peace and love. Less killings, less harassment, and less hate being put out and projected unto people. Maybe I’m missing something… but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand.

In 10 years from now, I hope to be living out my dreams. What are those dreams you might ask? Well.. I want to be a high school guidance counselor. I want to be able to help the children that might be going through similar, if not the same high school experiences that I did. For me it was my English teacher. Mrs. Higuera was her name. She was amazing. She just somehow always knew when my day wasn’t going great, or if I had a tough night/morning at home. I want to be the Mrs. Higuera for any of those students that need it. I also want to be married with at least 2 children with 3 being my max. 10 years doesn’t feel that far away but age wise, it’s a bit of a jump from my “young and turnt” 20’s to my “still young but not as young and turnt” 30’s. I know I possibly won’t be completely finished with school, but I’ll at least be closer then, than I am now. In 10 years I hope to still be making music or even possibly be acknowledged for my talents by then. But to be completely transparent, I hope to simply still be alive. Life is hard sometimes and not to make it sound like I’d harm myself, but who knows what can happen in 10 years. Like I said… it’s not to that far away. As long as I able to still be in inspiration to the youth, I’ll be perfectly content with what I’m doing in 10 years.

If I were a parent, I would hope to be the best parent and leading example for my children that I could possibly be. I would like to use a gentle parenting method with a little of the old school type of parenting method mixed. By old school I mean grounding, taking away things that they love when they’ve done something bad to teach them that in order to be rewarded with things you have to be respectful and kind. I grew up in a very old school style home, so I don’t want my children to have to experience what I did while growing up, which is why I want to include gentle parenting as well. I would love to smother my children in love for as long as I can. I know that once they reach their rebellious teenage years that might become a little harder, but I won’t ever stop reminding them that I love them. I want my children to also be able to trust me. I want them to be able to tell me everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. I would remind them all the time that no one is perfect and life is all about making mistakes, and learning from those mistakes. I would also let them explore in whatever they might have interests in. Whether that’s sports, sexuality, or even as simple as likes or dislikes in food. I want them to be able to grow into being their own person, and the best version of that person that they could be. I want my children to be able to follow my examples of what it looks like to be imperfect, and still be able to succeed in life. I also would raise my children in the church. I would love to see them have as strong of faith as I do. God loves all of his children, and if they ever feel like they can’t come to me or let me in on what’s going on in certain aspects of their life, they know they can always go to God and talk to him.

I feel that when people look at me, a confident woman, painted by tattoo ink, crisp cut line up in my hair, and a ridiculous RBF they immediately are intimidated by me. Little do they know I’m the goofiest and most friendly person they will ever come across. As soon as someone even looks my way and we make eye contact that RBF is out the window! I instantly start smiling hoping that the interaction will lead to conversation. I’m always spaced out which is why I feel that people may think that I’m looking at them with my RBF and may think that I’m not bubbly, but truth be told… 9/10 I’m spaced out thinking about a seafood boil.. or better yet, my girlfriend. Once strangers do initiate a conversation they always say “I didn’t think you’d be this nice, or funny” which I of course take as a compliment because I love to give off a good “mysterious” vibe. I also think that with me being an artist, I have a lot of people who around me at all times wanting to have a good time with me, and I feel that that also intimidates a few people. They see this girl, surrounded by big men (security) and a lot of other people who also seem intimidating and they instantly feel like they can’t come party or vibe with us. But that is 100% not the case! I love when people come over and ask if they can take pictures with me after a show, or ask if I can give them a piece of advice for their music careers, it makes me feel good inside. The type of person I am, once you get to know me, is very inviting. My mom in fact tells me all the time that I’m “too nice”. I’ve had my fair share of bad experiences with people who I’ve called my “friends” people who I thought had the same genuine intentions that I do and had to learn that that isn’t always the case. So when she says that I’m too nice, she’s meaning that I have to learn how to put boundaries on what I allow people to treat me like.

What I remember the most about learning how to read is how patient my mom was when teaching me. The books, the “what does this sound make,” in a calm, baby talk voice and her sounding out each letter with me. I remember being able to pick the sounds up fairly quickly. Repeating each sound that the letters made about 5 times before being able to move on to the next. I remember being excited every time I got one right on the first try, without my mom’s help. But sadly, there’s not much I can remember after that. My childhood was rocky, very up and down, so my memories are kind of all over the place. As I sit here trying to zone in on that very specific memory, it’s hard for me to not start thinking of the other memories I’ve worked so hard on suppressing.

“IT’S A GIRL!” The words my parents were not expecting after me being born 3 months early, and them being told they were having a boy up until this very moment. I was born on October 21st, 1999 at 7:49 pm. The day of what was my baby shower. Crazy right? Well, buckle up because it doesn’t end there. From what I have been told my whole life, the story of my birth is a very intense, unbelievable one. My mom says she woke up feeling normal that morning, as normal as a pregnant woman can feel at least, and was very excited to celebrate her pregnancy with our family and her friends. It was set to start at 3pm and of course, almost everyone was running late including my mom so it didn’t actually start until about 5pm. My mom says she was having so much fun opening gifts, eating, and laughing with everyone when suddenly she felt excruciating pain in her stomach and back. My grandma at the time was a labor and delivery nurse (how convenient) and told my mom to lay on the couch as she checked and felt around my moms stomach to try and see what was wrong. My grandma almost instantly says “she need to go to the hospital somebody call 911!” My mom says that was the moment she knew, I was going to be coming out early. Fast forward to my mom now being at the hospital, giving birth to me, the doctor and nurses all say in unison “IT’S A GIRL!” My mom says her jaw dropped and she was in complete disbelief. After being told that I was going to be a boy all the way up until this moment, she couldn’t believe that I was a girl. She didn’t have any girl names picked out, all my clothes were boy clothes, and to top it all off, I was premature. The doctors don’t expect me to make it past 3 days to a week and after being a nameless, NICU baby for 2 weeks, a heaven sent nurse comes to my mom and says “you should really cherish this baby, she’s special.” And BOOM! There it was! My name! “Cherish Alyse Every.” With “Alyse” being a more creative way of saying “at least” and my last name being Every, it couldn’t have been a more perfect name.