Regret…

My biggest regret in life, well… all 25 years of my life, is not stopping my sister from going to Arkansas. I didn’t know that the day she left, would be the last time I would ever see her again. Maybe if I cried a little harder, or begged for her to not go a little more, she would still be here today. I know I can’t blame myself, because everything is ultimately God’s plan, but I always wonder. I know it isn’t healthy, and shouldn’t be my “biggest” regret, but since I can only pick one, this is the one. I mean I have tattoos I wish I would have NEVER gotten, but that’s so cliche I feel you know? Like that’s always what I feel like people will pick. I know I tend to get very vulnerable with these blogs,so but I think that’s okay. I think that that’s good for me. I also regret not talking about the pain of losing my sister more, when it happened. I went mute… I couldn’t talk, I felt like I had nothing to talk to about. I went to therapy, did the whole 9, and still… nothing. Still no talking. I think that’s also a regret I have. The pain that I felt then, isn’t the same pain I feel now, but definitely the same type of hurt and emptiness. I 100% regret not doing all that I could to stop her, or to help myself after with the resources that were attempted to be provided to me. I do still regret some of these tattoos though, lol!